My serious writing project makes a small appearance (the equivalent of a panty flash, really)

I go back and forth between telling myself I'm a fantastic writer and telling myself that I suck serious balls and need to just give it all up and be a real person.

But. I got a fair amount of writing done this week, and I did some tweaking with the main squeeze. I am about to post a section of the book I have been writing for the last 4 fucking years. That's a long time. Anyway, I am very anxious for comments, criticisms, suggestions, anything to make this better. I know it's just a fragment, with no back story, and if you're unfamiliar with Arthurian legend, you will be completely in the dark. Sorry. That being said, tally ho, readers!!

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Seth opened his eyes and placed his hands to his face. He groaned painfully as he felt each mark the tree had engraved into his cheek while he slept. His shoulder throbbed angrily from being shoved against the uncomfortable bark, and Seth mindlessly massaged life back into his arm as he looked around in an effort to gain his bearings. The forest seemed to be in the darkest part of early evening. A gloom surrounded everything Seth looked at. Using the tree as an instrument to hoist himself to his feet, he tried to remember how he got here and why he was alone. Flashes of memory whirred through his head in jagged puzzle pieces that Seth couldn’t fit together; Arthur laughing, Merlin’s silence, Seth feeling sleepy…but none of it helped. Pitifully, he looked around and called for his friends, quietly at first, and then louder and louder. Seconds evolved into minutes with nothing as a return for his calls.

Seth staggered forward, still recovering from an uncomfortable sleep. He had no idea where he was going, and he hated admitting it to himself, but he was afraid. As he continued walking in whatever direction he fretfully headed in, Seth was most alarmed by the utter silence of the woods. No crickets, no rustling leaves. He looked up through the canopy to find the moon in the hopes that he would be comforted by it’s familiarity, but to no avail. The leaves had meshed themselves into a dense blanket that covered any shreds of light that might break through and make the lonely place a bit more tolerable. Seth pushed himself onward, longing to hear some sign of life.

He slowly and quietly made his way through the darkness, continually looking over his shoulder in the hopes he would see Arthur and Merlin perhaps sleeping close by. All he saw were the unmoving bodies of the trees, and Seth felt threatened. Their stoic stillness seemed menacing, and the urge to quicken his pace was overpowering. Seth shuffled faster and faster toward a goal he wasn’t positive existed, and right as he was about to break into a frantic run, he saw a thin streak of light pushing through trees far up ahead. His heart leapt, and his feet followed. Seth ran for the exit and threw himself down onto the grass when he’d broken free of the forest.

The ground stabbed into his flesh, making Seth itch all over. He pushed himself up and furiously rubbed his legs and arms, doing his best to sooth his grass bitten skin. He carefully repositioned himself, ensuring that no grass touched his bare lower legs. He took stock of his surroundings, again noticing that the normal sounds that should be clamoring to make themselves heard were muted. In front of him a broad stream forced its way through the countryside, but the water was silent. The clouds loomed threateningly overhead in a way that didn’t signify impending rain; they instead threw themselves cruelly in front of the sun, keeping any light from trickling its way across the field. Seth scowled at his predicament and plucked at the sharp grass, throwing it as far as it would fly. Everything looked as powerless as he felt. Sighing heavily, he stood back up and plodded to the unnaturally quiet water. Seth decided that following the river downstream was his best chance of finding someone, anyone that could help him locate his friends. Resolutely, he set out on his way.

The river made for unfriendly company. Seth trudged through brambles that cluttered his path, swearing angrily when thorns painfully dug into his legs. He was jumping on one leg to wipe away a trickle of blood from a cut when he lost his footing and fell into the water. It was deeper than it appeared, and faster than it should have been. Seth did his best to swim up to the top, but the icy fingers of the current clawed at him and drew him farther from the surface. His chest was ready to burst and his limbs were going numb from cold when he was heaved out of the clutches of the river. Seth gasped and sputtered and coughed furiously until he thought he was going to pass out. He did his best to drink in the abundance of air and looked up, forcing himself to smile, fully expecting Arthur and Merlin to be standing in front of him. The smile was ripped off of his face when he saw his salvation.

The man’s hair was black and stringy, and it hung lifelessly past his shoulders. On top of his head, a crown sat askew. It lacked any shine or luster and was as dim as the man’s face. There was nothing to his face at all. Each feature hung in facial limbo, and Seth thought it looked like his mouth was ready to walk off at any moment; his attempt at a smile was so crooked. The man’s clothes were just as depressing; worn and grubby and uncared for. Seth’s eyes couldn’t help but notice the man’s upper legs. They were drenched in blood. Seth rocked backward, horrified, and would have fallen into the water again had the bleeding man not caught him.

“You’ve got to be careful, young master. She’s a dangerous beast, and I cannot save you every time.” He tried to smile again at Seth, and Seth found this more terrifying than welcome. The man held out his hand to help Seth to his feet, and Seth cautiously accepted, his eyes bouncing back and forth from the man’s face to his blood covered pants in a feeble attempt not to stare.

“Thank you,” he said as he stood “I don’t know what would have happened to me if you hadn’t come along.”

The man carelessly waved away the gratitude. He nudged Seth to continue walking, and Seth fell in sidestep.

“But how did you get here, young man? You’re ever so far from where you should have started.” Seth began to answer, but didn’t know what to say. He drew a complete blank.

“You know, it’s funny. I have no idea. But you’re right; I am so far from where I’m supposed to be. Can you show me the way there?”

The man nodded cheerfully and extended his arm, leading the way to an isolated castle standing in the very middle of the river and looking bleak and ominous. Crows circled overhead, waiting for some form of carrion to present itself for their dining pleasure. But none of this is what Seth saw. The gloom had melted into something that felt like home to Seth. He whistled a cheerless tune and followed his new companion to their joint destination, feeling content and full of purpose.

Eagerly, they stepped inside the worn and desolate fortress. They were greeted by the lazy din of a large number of people bustling around a table, mirthlessly encased in each other’s company. Seth watched as they drank greedily from oversized goblets and piled large chargers with an abundance of food. The man led Seth to the front of the dreary hall where an old man sat, staring longingly at the diners. Seth couldn’t help but notice that the older man looked very similar to his new friend, and bore the same gruesome affliction in his lap. Seth’s brain panged against his skull for a brief moment before he was seized by the desire to feast with the other guests. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the other man sit next to his older doppelganger, the both of them looking frail and pained. This image was driven out of his mind as he watched everyone eat. “I am so hungry” he thought to himself, eyeing a nearly demolished roast. “Come to think of it, I have no idea when I ate last.” Seth was suddenly consumed by a lust for all that was set before him, and without another thought he quickly set about to finish every last morsel on the table.

Seth plowed through plate after plate, never bothering to wonder why his thirst was never quenched and his hunger wasn’t sated. He paid no mind to the dingy people hunkered down all around him, each of them thinking of nothing but their ravenous consumption. Amidst the sound of his eating that echoed in his head, he heard a rousing shout of “To the river!” and a half-hearted cheer spread through the hall. Seth stood and looked in the direction of the order; his head panged again, more ferociously than the first time. It brought with it a fleeting scene of a broken table covered in rotten food. The tablecloth was moving ever so slowly, but it wasn’t a tablecloth; it was a bed of maggots. Seth twitched involuntarily, forgetting the vivid imagery. The ache subsided rather quickly, and he followed the younger man with the wounded lower half. Seth blended in with the line as they made their way outdoors, each shuffling slowly along. Seth glanced about outside and saw flashes of swampy marshland and fog-ridden fields, trees that bore no fruit and decayed where they stood. These visions came fast; Seth couldn’t get a hold on them and he felt hazy, but as quickly as they came, they were forgotten and everything was quiet again.

Seth clumsily made his way to sit next to the wounded man. He slowly motioned for Seth to sit next to him on a mossy rock that neighbored the river. Seth watched him as he threw a fishing line in the middle of the water and leaned back, seeming to bask in the stillness. Seth’s hand flew to the side of his head as his brain thumped again, this time demanding that Seth paid attention. His eyes felt unfocused, and when Seth looked around, he saw two scenes falling into one: the first was by far more pleasant. The group from the castle had gathered around the man and listlessly fished in the river. While there was no laughter or happy faces, everyone seemed content enough. The second of the two jarred Seth out of his stupor. The sky was horrible. It burned with brightness, but no light seemed to touch the charred ground. The wounded man was weeping, his guttarl cries matched only by the rush of the water. The river tore past them, tarry and black as a freshly inflicted wound. Seth watched it in horror. He glanced down and screamed. What had moments ago been a mossy embankment that he and the man sat on was now as rough and gritty as a scab. The cries from the man continued, and his fingers feebly pointed behind Seth.
“My Kingdom! See what it’s become!”

Seth’s mouth hung open in abject terror. The clouds fell from the sky, and the lack of light couldn’t make the horrible truth of the land disappear. The ground was littered with emaciated bodies, each of them clinging to each other and crying out for death.